We’ve all heard the research reports suggesting that being in a good relationship or having pets might be correlated with a longer life span.

According to a study presented at the 2010 American Stroke Association’s conference, single men had a 64% HIGHER risk of suffering a fatal stroke than happily married men[1].  While the data analyzed was fairly dated, the significance of the number is staggering.  But, perhaps even more surprising is that men who were married yet rated their marriage as “unsuccessful” – even their risk of fatal stroke was 64% higher compared to happily married men.

Uri Goldbourt, professor of epidemiology and preventative medicine at Tel Aviv University in Israel and author of the study, expressed surprise – “I had not expected that unsuccessful marriage would be of this statistical importance.”

It seems fairly obvious that unhappy relationships can lead to increased stress, blood pressure, and other nasty things.  But what do we really mean when we use subjective terms like happy, unhappy, successful, and unsuccessful to define relationships?

When it comes to cholesterol, we say our cholesterol is “good” or our management of our lipid levels is “successful” if total cholesterol is under 200.

Would it be possible to define a similarly objectified approach to relationship success?  I’ll suggest two diagnostic measures: blood pressure and the hormone cortisol.  The challenge of course would be “normalizing” the numbers to tease out the influence of other “external” factors such as job, international strife, and so forth.

Here’s one possible way.

Psychologists who perform couple’s counseling could use blood pressure cuffs and saliva testing during the “how does it make you feel when he/she …” bludgeoning and study the deltas from “baseline” to derive a relative success metric.  Let’s call it a Relationship Success Coefficient that indicates the +/- from baseline.

Consider then the opportunity for couples to learn how to “improve” their numbers.  Isn’t it easier to lower your cholesterol if you know exactly where it stands and what number it needs to hit?  That’s the whole point behind SMART goals (Strategic – it really matters, Measurable, Actionable – there are things you can do to achieve it, Realistic, and Time-bound).

Clearly a bit tongue in cheek, but could having mutually agreed upon, measurable Relationship Success Coefficients help to either improve existing relationships or more quickly terminate ones that consistently fail to achieve their RSC goals?

Obviously relationship “success” is far more complex than simple measures of blood pressure and stress hormones, but the data from Dr. Goldbourt’s and many others suggest the high correlation between dissatisfaction in marriage and death.

[1]http://www.medpagetoday.com/MeetingCoverage/ASA/18672